How to communicate when trust is low
Engineer positive interactions, even if you have to invent them
Low trust relationships are draining for everyone involved. Even simple questions like "when will this ship?" can be heard as "I don't trust that you have everything under control and need proof that everything will be ok", which then translates to "they're asking for a date so that when I miss it they can fire me and use this as evidence".
Without conscious effort, nothing will get better. You don't have to tell them that you're worried about being fired, but you do need to ask questions to figure out why they're asking:
- Them: "When will this ship?"
- You: "I'll send you some details. Out of interest, why are you asking? Is there a customer that's interested?"
- Them: "I'm working on an announcement calendar with the marketing team and don't want to launch too many things in the same month"
Suddenly everything is ok. The reason they're asking makes sense, and it gives you the opportunity to be proactive:
- You: That makes sense, thanks for sharing. Would it be useful if I listed out all of my features for the next quarter?
- Them: That would be amazing, thank you!
Suddenly you've turned an anxiety-inducing question in to an opportunity to rebuild the relationship.